EAL 17 How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think
Isn’t it amazing how much time we typically spend worrying about how others see us. It was certainly a big deal in my life until I began to understand why I was trapped in that fear and began to practice the tools I'll be passing on to you in this episode.
There is a much simpler solution than you may have guessed. By shifting your own focus back to you you can become freer and freer, trusting whoever you choose to be.
Timeline coordinates with the AUDIO version.
1:15 Why are people so concerned about how others see them?
1:30 Ultimately it is how you see yourself that matters the most.
2:25 The limbic brain personalizes everything
2:45 We need to be nurtured, acknowledged and valued. That teaches us that “I matter.”
3:10 We eventually learn to acknowledge and value ourselves.
3:35 First we receive and then we take over.
3:50 If we are not acknowledged, we become frozen, looking outside for validation that we matter.
4:45 We can internalize a wounded message about self (whether our caregivers intended that or not).
5:30 We become frozen, looking outside the self for the “truth” about who we are.
5:45 We project whatever is already “decided” from those early years onto situations in our adult lives.
6:10 We look for affirmations of our early wounded decisions.
6:40 Instead, purposefully evaluate today. How do I feel about myself?
6:55 The power is in your hands to make adjustments.
7:05 Purposefully look for things you do value about yourself.
8:00 Claim your individuality
8:15 The reason people have been concerned is that we have been frozen in early wounded decisions.
9:30 People will see you according to what they are celebrating or resisting/fighting.
10:00 Do you see anyone the same way all the time?
10:25 As long as I don’t know how to love and value myself, I will remain in blame and shame.
11:00 Bring the focus back to yourself. What is every situation teaching you about yourself?
11:35 Allow yourself to have a learning curve with your wounds